Sunday, 22 January 2012

Filling the gap..
[Just a little something that you should know. This post is not beauty or fashion related. I will be back to my makeup muses and more importantly 'my usual self' as of February, 1st. For now I am writing 'Hollie Bradbury's diary.'

…………..
This post contains some important life decisions. If you know me, you'll know I make the wrong decision usually. Help?


- I haven't abandoned ship, I have just been taking a little break from my blog and YouTube channel this month to concentrate on my January A2 exams. For anybody interested I am sitting my English literature, English language, psychology and general studies exams. I would love to say that my motivation and commitment has been sky high throughout the past weeks and that I will be walking into the exam hall everyday next week feeling super confident and ready for anything. Sadly, this is not the case and I am having another one of those 'I am so confused about my life' months. Not good.
I am so, so confused and well… blah it is unbelievable.

Although through the confusion, there is some clarity.

Things I am not confused about.

1) I definitly want to go to university.
2) I definitly want to open my brown scary looking enevelope in January and see B B B B written on the sheet.
3) I want to be a journalist.

Things that I am confused about, thus a confused Hollie.

1) I do not know which university I want to go to having recieved all my offers.
2) I know that right now, I will open the scary looking envelope and see U D D U written on the sheet.
3) Will I ever be a journalist? The horror stories I have heard alate have just made me want to run away and become a nurse or a teacher or something that our society needs not a pain in the arse, which in theory and many peoples opinion's journalists are. This is a ridiculous risk that I am taking and if it doesn't pay off it is bye-bye Dawn Porter/Cherry healey/ Carrie Bradshaw-esc woman and hello full time bus wanker and burn out. Ouch

It appears that I need to sort myself out. Again

I am looking forward to February 1st when I can start writing about lipstick and nail varnish again. I cannot believe that next month this blog is a year old. Wow, one whole year ago since I sat down on my bed crying my eyes out having been dumped on Valentines day writing the words. I N E E D A H U G.
No, it didn't really say that and if you can remember you will know it definitly didn't say that.

Alas, a time must come when I don't feel confused.

I have spoken to so many of my friends asking them
What shall I do?

Two more things that I am confused about.

1) Do I stay at home, have a car, a warm bed, new clothes, fund my beauty product addiction, a bath, FOOD and commute to a Leeds university everyday missing out on 'uni life' and the whole uni shebang as I would be living at home still although better off and still have chunk of my life savings to sort me out post univeristy when i'm scratting about looking for internships….

2) Do I move away to another county lose all my life savings as I am short for my halls of residance, live the 'uni life' and be really, really poor. The course isn't as good or only offers me half of what I want although I will be away from home which I really, really want to be in order to grow up and fend for myself which as an adult I will someday have to do!

Decisions, decisons? Can anybody actually help me?

Anybody?

x


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13 comments

  1. i dont know hunnie i have already decided i am going to uni but i am lucky because although i am going to be living a 3 hour car journey away from her but i am going to be moving in with my dad so thats how i have made my decision xx

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  2. Hollie I feel your pain! I originally went to Manchester Met uni for just under a month. HATED IT! I hated halls and everything that went with it, people told me to stick it out but I couldn't. I only went away because all my friends did and I felt that was expected of me. I managed to get a transfer to a Uni in my town and never looked back.I then realised there was no such thing as a proper uni experience. Everyone will create their own uni experience as it will differ from person to person. I was worried I would not make any friends on my course from not living in halls but I did! Also,living in leeds you would probably find a lot of people on your course etc in the same position as you ie living at home etc especially with the huge increase in tuition fees this year. I know I made the right choice and given my time again I would do the same. I would say if you are considering staying at home then maybe this is a sign? xxx

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  3. im sure you will find the answers soon you jsut have to think what is best for now or for at least your first year at uni! Dont do anything unescessary that isnt going to make a huge impact and tbh i still live at home and go to work but iwth being on different timetables i still feel i am growing and if you dont have to leave home then dont least then you can concetrate more and have some stability you cna still go on all your uni nights out at the unions too! Youll be fine holly dont worry it will all pan out! just think of now aswell as the future dont put all your eggs in one basket :D speak on twitter soon
    Xxx

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  4. Hollie, I know your feeling well and truely, especially been a leeds girl myself! I went to Leeds Met and lived at home (still do now!) and i must admit i still had a brilliant Uni experience! I met my absolute best friends at Uni who are still my best friends now and will be forever! Living at home didnt ruin my experience of Uni whatsoever! I would honestly say to anyone stay at home! The amount of money it would save you in the long run, halls are so expensive! You will make so many friends just from your course mates alone. I thought about going to another uni and living in halls but im so glad i did it the way i did it, and so did a lot of people on my course, most people still lived at home! Leeds Uni is an absolutely amazing uni, you will still have the Uni experience and your life savings along with it! :) xxx

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  5. Could you take a gap year...
    You could work full time, save lots of money, do some work experience, establish your blog more.. It would also give you time to think more about uni and what you want from life etc. I took a gap year and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made!
    xx

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  6. I wish I'd only had the opportunity to live at home, although I know my 18 year old self would never have taken it! I'm about to finish my degree, and am choosing to move back home to do my masters and study it online rather than stay at my current uni and have another year of student life.
    My experience of first year was good despite having the flatmate from hell, but I don't think living in halls is the be all and end all of the university experience. I had never ever experienced home sickness before I went to uni. Towards the end of first year I barely spent any time in my uni city as I just couldn't be there, and I had no real reason behind it! I don't think you will ever really know if you've made the right decision, you just need to do what feels right for you.
    ps, you'd be surprised about how little being at university makes some people grow up! xx

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  7. If you are short on money for your halls you needed worry as you have student finance. Secondly i thought i wanted to live at home, then 3 weeks before changed my mind, moved into halls, didnt have a brilliant flat of people to live with but made friends with other people, and met my amazing boyfriend. If living at home means you have access to a better course then I should stay at home for the better course. You will still feel like you are growing up due to the course, meeting new people and the different level of skills needed/ xx

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  8. Holly I felt exactly the same when I was in your position three years ago, I was stuck between whether to go to uni or not and whether to be a midwife or to do media. I had a think and being the shallow person I decided to go with media as like you I had Dawn Porter as an idol and said I was more like her and you can't wear nail varnish when you're a midwife so I was definitely put off.

    Go and look round the uni's and listen to your gut. I wish I did, I ended up transferring in my second year and so much happy that I did. Uni's not for everyone but it's personally changed me into a adult, without it I imagine I'd of never left home, now I'm looking for jobs in London and feel I can achieve anything. Seriously just work hard at college and everything will sort itself out. I know loads of people who took a year out to figure things out and are so happy that they did. If you ever want a chat let me know as this whole uni malarkey is confusing!

    I know right now you don't know how everything will work out but it will promise me. Look out for signs, I always do that it makes you feel a little better you're making the right decision.

    xx

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  9. I can safely say I was in the same position only I didn't have the option to stay at home...the two months over the summer before I cried and cried and cried telling all my family I didn't want to go and then in September I found myself going to Leeds anyway, mainly because I thought everyone expected it of me, and they all told me to try it.I was lucky that I had been speaking to a flatmate for a while before on that yougofurther who is now my best friend and we lived together for the whole 3 years, but if I hadn't met her I honestly think I would have come home.

    It is a lot of money but at the end of the day, I'd say go with your gut instinct. I know so many people who have gone to uni, stayed in halls and loved it, but can honestly say I wish I had listened to my gut and packed it in or transferred to somewhere closer to home. Yes I have a degree out of it now, a couple of close friends and it has certainly made me grow into an adult as a person, but I have certainly lost all the friends I used to have as they seem to have moved on..I am much happier now I am only an hour from home in Manchester, living with my boyfriend and his student friends and wish I'd transferred and done it sooner! I also know so many people who have gone to uni from home and love it too as I've just tweeted to you.

    Seriously though, trust your gut instinct and do what you want to do..don't let anyone try to persuade you to do something you might regret.

    I hope this helps a little bit, but just message me if you want to talk about it :) xxx

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  10. I'm in my first year of journalism at university at the moment, i do it as a joint with english lit, that way i have a back up plan! us journos get so much stick for doing a degree in media but if its what you want to do go for it. visit each uni and go with your gut instinct! maybe go into halls for your first year but if you decide its not for you then commute for the rest of the time. everything will fall into place :) xx

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  11. Follow your heart hun. Or you'll always regret not doing what you thought you could.

    Have faith. Everyone has months where they have no idea where there life is going. I'm having one myself! Newly single, trying to find internships down in scary London and feeling a bit out of place in my flat. Don't worry - it will pass.

    Uni is what you make of it. It truely is. What you put in is what you'll get out. So be careful what you're planning on blowing your savings on. Moving out is scary and doesn't always go to plan - I can say this from experience. Living from home doesn't have to be a disadvantage with your personality.

    Above all don't feel stuck. If the worst happens you CAN change. You always have a choice to move to a different path :)

    xxx

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  12. Do what your gut tells you! From reading your post, it seems you actually want to move away and the stay at home thing is a safe option... If I were you I'd go for it, for most people it's a massive period of discovery where you get to know yourself and find out how to be independent. If you're worried about rent then work. I know you'll have a lot on with coursework and stuff, but really if you're organised 8 - 16 hours a week is achieveable and can bring in an extra £200 - £400/month. Having said that, I would try and keep your savings (or save part of your wage) because as you already know, you will almost certainly need this for internships in this kind of industry.

    The other thing is, at uni you'll get to meet loads of new people and have new experiences, which in turn will give you more to write about.

    You know that when you put your mind to something you can achieve it, you've proved it with the success of yor blog. Write down a list of everything you want to achieve and do and try to organise it into priorities. Hopefully it will make things a bit more clear.

    Good luck!

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  13. Hey hun... It sounds like you need a gap year. You have nothing to lose, the courses will still be there when you decide to want to go! You can defer your entry so you definitely have a place.

    From a journalism perspective though, I graduated in May with a 2.1 degree in Journalism from Bournemouth (the best journalism course in the country, according to the accrediting body, the NCTJ) and I'm currently unemployed (that's with all the work experience/writing for local papers/blogging etc). I don't mean to sound negative but it sounds like you need to get some more professional experience before you do your degree so that you're 100% sure it's what you want to do for the rest of your life. I wouldn't say I regret doing my course, but if I'd have known the job market beforehand I perhaps would have chosen something with more...well, jobs!

    I wish you the best of luck - tweet me @smoir if you need anything.

    Lotsa love xxx

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If you would prefer, you can contact me on Twitter: (@holliebradbury)
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