Tuesday, 3 January 2012

So, the first week in

- Happy new year everybody! I hope you all celebrated in style and have had a wonderful festive period. Despite the bitter, cold weather complete with lashing rain and gale force winds I am actually welcoming this mundane and and 'non descript' month with open arms. If I play it right, 2012 could hold many exciting prospects. For starters, it may well be the year I move out and start the next chapter of my life at university and it may also play host to the meeting of many new faces and places.


In order to achieve this, I actually need to get myself into gear and start revising. I am deifnitly one of these (may I add STUPID) people who go by the motto "it will be alright on the night" - which is dangerous very dangerous. I am struggling to get motivated with my work and I doubt I will repeat the glories of my AS year. With morale dwindling I turn to my blog and feel guilty that I am somewhat choosing this over that.


Nevertheless January is going to be a tricky month to juggle everything so here I am begging   you to stay with me  although I may be a little neither here nor there this month. I have a few exams to tackle which are due to begin as of next week. I have General Studies, English Literature, English Language and Psychology PSA4. In an ideal world I will nail both englishs' this time (looks rather unlikely *sadface*) and I can then concentrate on psychology in the summer! The people who know me best know how important getting myself into university is to me. So what the hell is wrong with my academic motivation?!? I will still be blogging and vlogging perhaps not as regulaly as usual that's all. I really need to try and at least prise myself away from Twitter and try to make some little revision booklets. I still never know how to revise so I like to make little booklets by condensing my notes to the most basic form a few weeks before the exam and wrote learning them off by heart. It is a risky way to do it but it hasn't completley failed me yet. Touch wood.

Moving forward….

What will be will be I suppose.

So, my new years resolutions. I am never one to really follow them up I either forget about them or get depressed when they subside! Last year I wrote in my filofax'
Pass driving test. DONE, first time!
Pass AS's BBB. DONE, I was overjoyed to achieve A B B B C
Go to the gym every Wednesday. FAILED, MISERABLY
ONLY eat junk food (I think my exact term was 'pig out') once a week. COMPLETE FAIL

You can see what was realistic here and what sadly was not, I will NEVER be able to stick to healthy ways. It is just not me. This year I have decided to list some resolutions I hope all can be ticked off!

1. Learn how to speak better and pronounce words properly.
(my Grandad will be overjoyed at this as he is always correcting me and getting on my case for saying 'finkin' haha!)
- Broadcast journalist? Thick yorkshire accent? Lazy habits of dropping T's, G's and D's? Not so great.
I want to start and speak nicely. I always cringe in my videos when I listen to how horrible and well….stupid I sound.

Read more.

Do more.

Just say yes.

[The last 3 are more about me sorting out my head and perhaps finally grow up a little bit]

Learn to make my own decisions and be strong and true with my word.
- I am terrible for letting other peoples emotions override what I really want to do. Despite how confusing and emotional the situational may be I don't want to just do things for the sake of somebody else' feelings. This year I will be doing what I want to do, not what somebody else wants me to do.

Stop crying and worrying over absolutely everything.
I need to toughen up and stop crying and worrying about what other people think. They are not my problem. I need to train myself to stand up for myself and speak out. I won't make a very good journalist if I don't start toughening up.

  Glass half full.
- I am ridiculous in the way I always have my glass half empty. My stupid OCD tendancies make it so I feel that if I don't feel worried or pessimistic about something nothing good will come of it. How stupid is that? I want to start feeling more positive about things and looking at things in a more optimistic mind frame. As my friend Sarah told me. "I am in control of my mind, it is not in control of me"

And finally although I tend to always make the wrong choice that comes to bite me on the bottom several months later I need to start making decisions for myself and not run to my dad or mum or grandparents everytime I don't know what to do.

I hope 2012 is the year where I grow up a little and stop feeling about 15 in my head!
Ha ha!

-I am so sorry if my posting is annoyingly sparse and irregular. I am still here I still love you I just have to get through exam toughies and I am back! woohoo!

Lots of love and happy new year

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