what happened to me?

Am I really cut for uni?

- Hi Everyone, todays post is going to be a little bit different to my usual beauty ramblings as I want to write a more lifestyley [a new word for the dictonary for you ;)] post about a change that has occured in my life recently
- a change which I am sure you all know about.
Five weeks ago like many other people, I shifted my life to a new city.
My Facebook timeline is currently swamped with my friends uploading pictures of their freshers antics and status' about how 'crazy' their new lives are.
From an outsiders point of view everybody (including myself) seems to be having a whale of a time but  you do have to ask yourself….
How exactly is everybody feeling behind the drunken pictures and the 'uni is mint' status updates?

I know that I cannot speak for everybody and I do want to highlight that this is just my intial thoughts on uni, but the more I speak to people, the more people nod their heads in agreement with me.
This post goes out to everybody who is feeling the same as I have been feeling and obviously all of you prospective uni goers.
A few weeks ago I said that I would write about each stage of my first year experience and this post is going to be;
'My freshers experience'

 Before I started university I read all sorts of blog posts on different peoples experiences and I really do think it helps a little bit when you are a bit unsure as to 'how you're supposed to feel.' when you start university.
I had all of these preconceptions and ideas about what it was going to be like when I finally started.
 I had heard about the truly amazing and not so amazing experiences from so many of my friends and I really couldn't wait to wriggle out of Wakefield and embark on a new 'amazing' life in Liverpool.
A place which you must remember I chose.

September the 8th rolled around very quickly this year and before I could say "alright mate" in my best scouse accent I was moving in to my new home for the next 9 months and prospectivly the next 3 years.
My new home for now.. living in…. halls of residence.

I will be entirely honest here, I have found my first few weeks of 'university life' difficult.
And it is only very recently that I have started to sweep my emotions up off the floor and realise why.
But again I must reiterate that this is just my thoughts.

Moving away from home is hard, I don't care what kind of adventurer you think you are it is very hard.
I have always been quite independent, growing up as an only child I think I do have a slice of that loner independence in me.
Everybodys differing personalities determine how they deal with things and I will be honest I am quite a dramatic, over emotional being, so perhaps half of why I have been feeling as I have is due to that.
Starting university is like a blank canvas and to most that is exactly what they are looking for and even to me I deem that a good thing but when you think about leaving your closest friends, your job, your family, your boyfriend/girlfriend, the life you have always known for having nothing it gets hard to think about.
You literally start with nothing, nada, which when you have moved away from home it becomes the reason for feeling homesick.
My dad kindly pointed out to me that homesickness isn't just about missing your house and your mum and dad and your cat, it is about missing how your life used to be at sixth form and high school etc.
I am stickler for familiarity and I don't deal with change very well, so as you know I again made it doubly difficult for myself.
I believe that it is really good advice to try and socialise with as many people as possible in the first day but I find that my halls are quite unsociable with people barely coming out of their flats to mingle! Days went on and it then felt like everyone had found their own little cliques and friends.
I had a bad case of FOAM (fear of missing out) and it pushed me to just stay with the people I lived with in case I came home and they had all left me! How stupid is that? . In reality I wish that I had made more of an effort to meet the people above and across.

One day last week I was having a particually rubbish day and I decided enough was enough
and I started making lists.
I am a total geek when it comes to lists and I believe they help me sort my head out.
Soooo a sure fire way to get your own head into gear is to write a list.
I made a list of things I could do to try and make myself feel a bit better.

Things such as
Join a gym
- These days I throw myself into the gym three times a week and I am feeling so much better for it.  Excercise helps you to feel better as after a work out your brain releases 'feel good' chemicals.

Have library evenings to keep up with my workload
- Sometimes it feels like your work is sitting on top of you, making you lose your sparkle for wanting to do it… I find that if I head to the library and deadicate an entire evening to catching up I go to class the next day and feel soo much better.

- My little escapism and a slice of normality!

Catch up with my new friends
- You aren't going to become somebodys best friend after a day, after a week or even after a month, but the more time you spend with people the more experiences you share and the more you have in common to talk about.
I found myself crying infront of my new friend Lauren and I had only known her for a second.
Fast forward a week and I am having tea at her house with her family and meeting her lovely little kitty cats.
Through Lauren I was introduced to her friend Laura who had a similar problem in her halls of residence.. and so I found some lovely, like minded people.
Finding people who you click with helps so much!
Don't be afraid to be friends with people who are different to you or your friends back home.
You won't be that different from each other in a few weeks.

Start eating properly, lots of fruit and veg, honestly it works wonders, try taking vitamins once a day.

Try and put myself out their for a job, scrub up the old CV
- My boyfriend said to me one day amidst me crying my eyes out to him on Skype on day (do you see what I mean, all I have done is cry!) he reminded me that I have always worked and have been proud of having a job.
He said it might help me feel more at home and happier if I had a slice of independace away from the halls with a job. With this in mind I have started the ball rolling…

and the most important one that has helped me is…
I tend to get caught up with what is happening next month, or even next year and that doesn't help me. Write a list Monday-Sunday and start filling up your days because boredom is the worst instigator of homesickness.
Make plans with new friends, friends back home and most importantly give yourself something to look forward to at all times!
I have decided that going to London to see Dan and going home once a month will help me and keep me happy so….that is exactly what I am going to do!

I have also joined a society, anything to get out there and meet other people.
It turns out a girl I met from a party upstairs wants to join too.
Thats me + one extra person I know when I go on the social event on Tuesday.

I have been fortunate that most of my flatmates are lovely but there is always one individual that causes grief with mess, loud music and vulgar drunkess and an inability to speak to anybody properly, if you have a problem like that you need to get it sorted straight away! Don't feel like you have to live feeling like crap.
Tell somebody, get your parents advice. But from what I have learned through this is… keep telling yourself who you are. You have good manners and social skills, you don't need to lower yourself to their level. It is not forever.

Moving out is a strange old thing and I really admire those who take it all in their stride... but I just want to say to anyone who might be feeling as I have, don't worry you are not the only one and if you ever need a pal, get on Twitter and tweet me. (@holliebradbury) or email me (goodgollymiss-hollie@hotmail.com)
I hope you have found this helpful or interesting in someway!
And on that note….
Here is to sorting my life out in Liverpool and finally feeling at home, I know that it will take time but I am ready.

Love, Holl

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