9 November 2013


my ocd story

- A programme that I watched a few weeks ago on itv spurred me on to write this post, although I have wanted to write it for some time.

OCD is something that many of us have heard of 
the phrase: Oh you're so OCD gets thrown around a fair bit.

Something that you may not know about me is that I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder and have done for around 13 years now and whilst I don't have it to the point where it fully takes over my life it does make situations quite difficult for me from time to time.

OCD is an anxiety disorder that is influenced by thoughts that cause uneasiness, fear and apprehension and in turn the sufferer feels that they have to eradicate these feelings by completing repetative behaviour.

I have suffered many waves of OCD but predominantly I carry out certain behaviours because if I don't, something bad will happen.

When I was seven years old I went through a phase of having to making a clicking noise with my tongue three times or something bad would happen.

This carried on for a while and then my 'thing' turned to multiplying everything by five, touching everything I saw and missing one step on the stairs.

After a while, I never had anything strange happen again for years.
Of course, I had my little quirks but nothing that got annoying.

It was only until recently that my OCD has started to become quite intrusive again.
I think it has been sparked by the anxiety surrounding the death of grandparents.

I have started thinking that if I don't do certain things, something bad will happen to more of my family members.

Ofcourse, I know that it is all in my head but I do worry sometimes that my OCD is getting a little out of control.

Plug sockets are becomming a bit of an issue, I am constantly checking that plug sockets are turned off incase the plug starts a fire.
I always make sure I say I love you to my nearest and dearest to the point where it is becomming obsessive, I can't not say it or yes, you guessed it, something bad will happen.

Anxiety is such a deliberating issue and it really can eat away at you.
I just try to tell myself that if something bad is going to happen then it's out of my control anyway and by doing crazy rituals the outcome won't change.

Do you know anybody who suffers from OCD?
hollie x
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  1. Hi, I think its really brave of you to write about your OCD. My sister suffered with it for quite a few years but she went to see somebody about it and it has completely changed her life. She almost changed into a different person. I saw such a great change in her that I'm now studying to be a Clinical Psychologist so that I can help people in similar positions. I know you might worry about how they would react but have you ever thought about going to see somebody about your problem? It could change your life drastically xxxxx

    1. Thankyou so much for your lovely comment. I haven't ever considered seeing anybody, but if it made such a positive change to your sisters life, then it's definately a consideration! x

  2. Mine is like this, I have to check everything twice to make sure its off and say I love you or something bad happens. The whole 'do this or something bad happens' is taking over, horrible!! x

  3. Hello lovely, I don't think you really know me but I have followed your blog for ages and this post stuck a personal chord with me. I also wrote about my experiences with OCD which I have had for around 7 years ( http://www.flawsandall.co.uk/2013/10/its-not-just-handwashing-my-ocd-and-me.html ) and my obsessive thoughts were surrounding my family and boyfriend's safety and health too. You are just going through a blip and you are strong enough to feel better like you did the last time. If you find everything getting a bit overwhelming then don't hesitate to go to your GP where they will hopefully refer you to get some CBT. If you ever want to email me then my address is on my blog, I know how much it can help to speak to someone who has been through something similar. Love, Amy xxx

    1. Hello Amy, thankyou for your lovely comment! Thankyou so much. I have read your post and you are so brave! I'd love to speak with you more about your story!, so inspirational! Hollie xxx


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