Wednesday, 21 May 2014

THE NOTES: LIFE CHANGES - BREAK UPS


Rewind six months and I wouldn't have had the answer to Carrie's question.
You probably would have found me in my bedroom, listening to Joni Mitchell songs and sobbing extensively. It all sounds a little over dramatic and cliche but on December 16th 2013 I was in pain.
Real pain in my chest that thumped away all day everyday and it only stopped when I was asleep.

Today's post isn't going to delve between the ins and outs of my break-up, who said what and who was the blame, it is instead a nod towards why breaking up is actually a really great process to go through.

The day before the words: "I don't want to be with you anymore" knocked me out like a ton of bricks I had a strange feeling in my stomach that my life was going to change in some way.
Always trust your instincts ladies because sure enough the following evening I listened to my first serious love tell me it was over.

Christmas was just around the corner (men really pick their moments don't they) and I was truly inconsolable, I cried, cried and cried some more for two weeks straight.
I spoilt Christmas Day for my family because  I felt that I was just sat in a dark hole.
My parents were so worried about me because it had been a very, very difficult year with the death of my grandparents and the road was still very rocky with my Grandad recovering from a severe stroke.

After a fortnight of barely eating and hiding away, new years eve came around and
 my Dad had to physically shake me whilst telling me sternly that enough was enough, I had to start 2014 with a new mindset by leaving that relationship in the past.
We lit a chinese lantern and as the clock struck midnight on the 1st of January I let the lantern drift into the inky sky and waved my break-up farewell.

And that is really what I did.

I headed into the new year a completely changed woman - I looked better, my hair was freshly blonde, after many hardcore gym sessions my body was looking and feeling healthier, my social life was picking back up, I had loads of time to cherish with my nearest and dearest, I redesigned GGMH as well as posting daily, applied for jobs in London and I had never felt happier.
I changed everything.

And that is how I feel at this very moment.

Happy and refreshed.

I realised how much better I felt when my parents told me last week they hadn't seen me as happy in a long time.

A hell of a lot has changed in my life since last year and I couldn't be more grateful for the life that I live now. That stinking break-up led to me realising that I am surrounded by some amazing, caring and truly kind people as well leading me to meeting new people who boosted my confidence everyday.

In answer to Carrie's question: Where does the love go? 
The answer is simple!
 The love goes to yourself.
All of that love I once had for somebody else I poured into myself through a new wardrobe, new hobbies, new hair, new adventure's and I truly believe that breaking up was the best thing to happen to me, I wouldn't for a start be moving to London next month to take an awesome job opportunity if I had still been the lapdog that I was in that relationship.

Everything happens for a reason and believe me when I say this, it really is their loss.

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10 comments

  1. This is so true. I think going through a bad breakup, as weird as it sounds, is one of the best things that can happen to you. It gives you thicker skin and makes you remember your self worth... after going through all the crappy stuff. haha.

    XO, G from grace'd

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    1. Absolutely Grace!! Couldn't agree with you more x

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  2. aww this is a really uplifting post! so glad you are happy now! xx

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  3. I'm still in the very early stages of a breakup, leaving me lonely and like everything I knew has just been swept out from underneath me. It's been so hard to even get up and dressed in the morning let alone make plans to meet friends and try to grasp onto the threads of my social life. I know I need to just put all my concentration and efforts into starting my business and focusing on what makes me happy. Well done you for being so honest and writing this, you've done amazingly to come out the other side so positive :)

    www.walking-in-heels.blogspot.com

    xxx

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    1. Emma, I know exactly how you are feeling at the moment! I can assure you I was EXACTLY the same. Remember that you will feel better, I didn't think I would but I do! And i'm better off for it!!! Stay positive x

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  4. Oh holly, you are so fab :) so glad you're happy!!! Congrats on life :D xxx

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    1. Alicia, thankyou so much!! :-) Like you did with uni, I made a choice that made me happier and look at us now, feeling much better xx

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  5. Love this, it's so true! Glad to hear you're happy :) xx

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  6. I went through a tough break up best part of two years ago, it really did knock me back at first because I did not see it coming whatsoever. As hard as it was I had to get myself motivated and not dwell on things, haven't looked back since! Thank you for writing such an honest and inspiring post...I wish I had something like this to read at the time! xx

    Sarah @ sarahlouxo.com xx

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