THE NOTES: LIFE CHANGES - BREAK UPS


Rewind six months and I wouldn't have had the answer to Carrie's question.
You probably would have found me in my bedroom, listening to Joni Mitchell songs and sobbing extensively. It all sounds a little over dramatic and cliche but on December 16th 2013 I was in pain.
Real pain in my chest that thumped away all day everyday and it only stopped when I was asleep.

Today's post isn't going to delve between the ins and outs of my break-up, who said what and who was the blame, it is instead a nod towards why breaking up is actually a really great process to go through.

The day before the words: "I don't want to be with you anymore" knocked me out like a ton of bricks I had a strange feeling in my stomach that my life was going to change in some way.
Always trust your instincts ladies because sure enough the following evening I listened to my first serious love tell me it was over.

Christmas was just around the corner (men really pick their moments don't they) and I was truly inconsolable, I cried, cried and cried some more for two weeks straight.
I spoilt Christmas Day for my family because  I felt that I was just sat in a dark hole.
My parents were so worried about me because it had been a very, very difficult year with the death of my grandparents and the road was still very rocky with my Grandad recovering from a severe stroke.

After a fortnight of barely eating and hiding away, new years eve came around and
 my Dad had to physically shake me whilst telling me sternly that enough was enough, I had to start 2014 with a new mindset by leaving that relationship in the past.
We lit a chinese lantern and as the clock struck midnight on the 1st of January I let the lantern drift into the inky sky and waved my break-up farewell.

And that is really what I did.

I headed into the new year a completely changed woman - I looked better, my hair was freshly blonde, after many hardcore gym sessions my body was looking and feeling healthier, my social life was picking back up, I had loads of time to cherish with my nearest and dearest, I redesigned GGMH as well as posting daily, applied for jobs in London and I had never felt happier.
I changed everything.

And that is how I feel at this very moment.

Happy and refreshed.

I realised how much better I felt when my parents told me last week they hadn't seen me as happy in a long time.

A hell of a lot has changed in my life since last year and I couldn't be more grateful for the life that I live now. That stinking break-up led to me realising that I am surrounded by some amazing, caring and truly kind people as well leading me to meeting new people who boosted my confidence everyday.

In answer to Carrie's question: Where does the love go? 
The answer is simple!
 The love goes to yourself.
All of that love I once had for somebody else I poured into myself through a new wardrobe, new hobbies, new hair, new adventure's and I truly believe that breaking up was the best thing to happen to me, I wouldn't for a start be moving to London next month to take an awesome job opportunity if I had still been the lapdog that I was in that relationship.

Everything happens for a reason and believe me when I say this, it really is their loss.

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